There! I fixed football. DONE.

Ok so I usually don't give much of a crap about sports, but my intake has greatly increased since moving in with Daneish. I now watch quite a bit of SportsCenter and many a professional game. Lately this has meant football and baseball. And from watching football this weekend, I have come to realize that something must be done. If you've heard anything about football recently, you know about the helmet to helmet hits that have occurred as of late. Now I'm not going to bother to do any further research about this topic because I'm done with school and it's my blog so I don't have to. But I think we can all agree that these intentional hits are increasing in both number and severity as of late. We'll get to my simple solution later, first let's look at the ridiculous arguments coming from both the players and the commentators on ESPN.
The most irritating to me is the "better to be hit too high than too low" comment. This suggests that your knees are so fragile that a single hit there can be completely crippling, so it's better to be hit higher. Um... I'm not sure if you've heard of Mike Utley*. Utley is the former Detroit Lions player who was forced to retire in his 3rd year in the NFL (1991) after he suffered an extreme hit that resulted in paralysis from the chest down. That's right, paralyzed. As in can't walk. As in is lucky to have use of his arms. [Please also take the time to do some internet searches on Eric LeGrand**. He's a Rutgers junior who suffered a spinal cord injury on Saturday that looks like it's going to end in paralysis from the neck down. He currently has no movement below his neck, but it's too early to have a more final diagnosis. This injury didn't result from a helmet to helmet hit, but it came from tackle he was making when he lead with his head. Clearly this was an accidental injury, there was a big crowd of players around so his hit was difficult to make. But it'a prime example of how a single hit to the head can have major repercussions for a long time to come.] But you're right ESPN commentators, getting hit in the knees is much better. Because knee replacements are pretty popular now, but vertebrae replacements are going to be AWESOME! Yes, a single hit in the knees can be career-ending and you will probably only suffer a concussion from a hit in the head. But there's also such a thing as too many concussions and there's also a hell of a chance that a single hit in the head will not only be career-ending, but also walk-ending, and quite possibly life-ending. So your knee argument is garbage and you should be embarrassed for sharing it on tv.
Another popular idea on ESPN today was that the National Football League facilitated the popularity of helmet to helmet hits because all of their promotional video and highlights feature the hardest of hits. I agree, they do sensationalize the hard hits. But there is a big difference between big tackles and getting another guys helmet thrown into your own. I think that all football players go into that job knowing that they're most definitely going to get hurt and may get hurt so badly that they are forced to stop playing football before they want to. Everyone knows that there are no old men in football (except Brett Favre, but we're all dying for him to retire for real. Move along Brett, your Wranglers await you. Real. Comfortable. Jeans.) because you simply can't play such a physical sport for a long time. Your body can't do it. But no football players enters the league with the idea that they have to be prepared for an illegal hit because the league facilitated it. Hard hits are to be expected, illegal hits are not. So the NFL can have all the highlights of big tackles they want, as long as they're all legal hits that encourage good sportsmanship.
The least convincing argument I heard today was that linemen can't stop their momentum or can't help making a head to head hit because they're moving so fast with so much momentum. Wait... these are professional athletes, right? It's their entire job to make tackles, right? And they practice this job from childhood with the same rules they are expected to follow in the NFL, right? So they've had years of practice doing this one job and we're supposed to believe that they aren't good enough at it to have a target area? Baseball pitchers have a strike zone, why don't football tackles have to adhere to a similar standard? Oh that's right, they should have to. So take your can't help it excuse elsewhere because it's not helping these injured players walk again.
AND here's my idea for punishment for offending players: yes they should be fined. But fines aren't enough for these guys who make millions. They need to be suspended. And these need to be suspensions that make an example of the offenders. Here's my creative idea of how these suspensions should work: minimum of 1 game suspension. Period. And if the guy they hit is injured? The offending player is suspended for the equal amount of games that his victim is out while recovering. And if the injury is career-ending? The regular football season is 16 games, so the offending player should be suspended for 8 games. The other guy will never play again, you can sit out half a season to have some time to think about what an asshole you are.
There! I fixed football. DONE.

*Ok, I did google that to figure out his actual name. So I guess I did some research...
My google? "Detroit Lions paralysis"
**I would not recommend ESPN's video of the hit. It's tough to watch and won't improve your mood. Stick to the print articles, no videos.